Romania Return Update

I started to feel that rush of panic and excitement today as I realized my trip to Romania is about 71 days away..... or at least I hope. I've got about $2,700 still to raise. In some ways it feels like I left Romania a couple months ago, and in other ways I feel like it has been so long since I saw my kids. I received an e-mail today from a friend who is filming there and he included some pictures, seeing the kids faces again made me long that much more to get there! I wish I could describe in words how torn my heart is.... I feel like half of it is in Romania, and half here in the states. 9 months later and my pictures and thoughts of them still brings me to tears.

This trip is more than just going to see the kids though, this is about working with them. Summer teams are needed to run the camps and summer activities. I am excited to work and pour into the kids' lives again.

Someone asked me the other day... “Why do you want to go back, and why so quickly?” My thought was, not quickly enough, I would have gone sooner had I had the funds. Granted my life is still not on track or in some kind of perfect condition.... and I already want to go back. Not only does my heart and passion for Romania call me back, it's the commitment to the kids. These beautiful children I have grown to love and call my own are kids who have spend a lifetime being rejected, abandoned and forgotten. I never want them to feel that with me. I want them to know Romania was not just a small part of my life, it was a part the is forever etched into my heart. My goal is to go back to Romania every year I can. I hope that once I finish school and begin my career I can spend my summers serving every year.

I do need some help to get there and have some exciting fund-raising events to share:

Friday May 4^th Mini Photo Session @ Old Folsom Power House - 3pm-6pm

Call: Shannon Squires, #775.722.6659 - $50 for a 30 mini photo session, includes a disk with 10 images. (check her work out on Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shannon-Squires-Photography)

Saturday May 26^th – Game Night at my place.... Poker buy-in and prizes! Details to follow.

June 2^nd – Yard Sale. Accepting donations or come a find some good deals.

June 9^th – Mini Photo Session (Location & times to follow)

$50 for a 30 mini session, includes a disk with 10 images.

June 16^th – Car Wash @ my place.

*If you are interested in any of these fund-raisers let me know! Check out my blog as well for updates and a link to donate online... remember it's a tax deductible donation. Even if you just give up two coffee's in my honor & give $10 it would be appreciated more than you know!

Contact me anytime: E-mail: writekrista@hotmail.com

Or give at: https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/

Twins on the way!

I often get news on the kids in Romania, and recently got some news that needs prayer. Some of you may remember a teenager I wrote about often, that I worked with closely. I drew close to her and she shared many things with me. She is a girl who does not see her value and has very low self-esteem. She desires so deeply to be loved that she has often found herself in unhealthy relationships with men. She also struggles with healthy eating habits. My connection with her came to a surprise, she told me I was like a mother to her and often sought nurturing and motherly embraces. My heart has ached for her a long time and my teaching partner in Romania and I tried to help her to see the value in school and healthy choices for her life, but often saw her seeking comfort in unhealthy ways.

I just found out she is pregnant with twins. I am concerned about her health and about the young man who has fathered these babies. She is no longer at the orphanage and had apparently moved in with this young man. I have no idea the situation, but my heart aches for her. I pray she will be healthy enough to carry these babies to term. I pray for the relationship she is in, that it is safe and healthy. I also pray for these sweet babies, that they would be born healthy. I pray that these new babies will not end up in the orphanage system, but rather be cared for physically & financially with love by their young parents. Please pray for this young lady and her new relationship and the new lives she is carrying.

Thank you for your prayers and for continuing to check out my blogs.

As posted before I am planning on going to Romania again this summer. Here is a link if you would like to support me! https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/ I am going to need all the help I can to get!

I plan on doing a couple video blogs again while I am there too!! :)

Keep praying for the kids!

Update & Future Plans

Update on Life & Future Plans:

Hello dear friends and family. I Hope this update finds you blessed, happy and joyful. I hope life is unexpectedly surprising you and renewing your faith daily. I personally have been feeling the crazy bends and twists in life's road. Sometimes there are unexpected places you feel called and compelled to, without even knowing why?

I can hardly believe it's been seven months and nine days since I arrived back in the states. It feels like a whirlwind. There hasn't been a day that has gone by that I have not thought about the sweet faces I've left behind. I figured I would have my life here in the states all figured out by now. At first I couldn't even think about Romania and the kids without crying. There were days that seemed so hard, so void. I never imagined the adjustment would be so difficult. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy road, but I also wasn't prepared for the severe lows. I know with all my heart I was drawn home, I just haven't figured out my new purpose yet. I wish I could explain what it was like to wake up every day and know my exact purpose, that's what it was like for me in Romania. I know I am suppose to be here, and my new purpose is yet to be discovered, but I did leave a huge piece of my heart in Romania. I've kept in touch through facebook, e-mails, letters and a couple of packages, but it still doesn't seem like quite enough.

I am currently nannying part-time and tutoring twice a week. I am tutoring romanian, which is wonderful because I am able to keep the language skills. I also attend William Jessup University. I am working on a family and child counseling degree. Schooling is intense and a lot to juggle, but I enjoy learning. I especially enjoy psychology. I am very social these days, hanging out with friends and making up for lost time. I have been truly blessed by the support and encouragement of friends and family. Although, I still have days that are filled with longing to see the little one's I fell in love with back in Romania.

I am hoping and praying with all my heart to return to Romania in July for two weeks. My church is sending a team to help with summer ministry. I plan on going with this team. It is an expensive trip, the cost is $3100. On a part-time salary and full-time school schedule this seems impossible, but then again I thought living in Romania for two years was impossible?! With God all things are possible. The thought of going to Romania again and seeing my kids makes my heart feel like bursting with unimaginable joy. If you've ever been in love; a love that see's potential, promise and hope, than you know about the kind of love I've experienced. I have yet to be a mother, but the love I feel for these kids, I can only imagine is like a mother for her children. Nine years I have been going to Romania, and although in the grand scheme of things my time there was brief, my experiences were monumental. If I am going to go, I am going to need some help. If you feel compelled or are able to help, please make a check to Bridgeway Christian Church or Heart to Heart International and put my name in the memo section of the check. I would appreciate your help and encouragement. Prayers would be wonderful as well as encouragement. This is very important to me.

Thank you for your continued support, I couldn't have gotten this far without you!

With much Love,

Krista Dickson

Jeremiah 29:11

Ball of Frustration

Have you ever just had a feeling inside you and you didn't know what to do with it? How to express it? How to heal it? That is what I feel and have been feeling for months. I kept thinking one day at a time, one day at a time, and now three months later and I still am taking it one day at a time. I disconnected from Romania for awhile.... I didn't know what else to do? Just thinking of the kids would bring me to tears. I feel like I don't know how to mesh my two worlds, how to allow my heart to feel for the kids in Romania and still live my life here in the states. I feel like there is a ball of frustration built up inside me and I don't know how to release it. It's weird being in a place I know I am suppose to be, yet feeling such a loss for where I was? Sometimes I feel like I am going through the motions, but lacking the passion or intention behind it. I haven't shared with many how much I am still struggling, but I thought being honest and allowing my emotions to be known might help.

I don't know how or why, but I feel like I am assuming the "fake it until you make it" method in my life. The truth is I am not sure what to do? I am not sure why I am still feeling so lost in my own life? It seems to me I am running on blind faith, I am walking forward without knowing where I am going? I am learning you can't replace one passion with another.

Everything in my life is going well, I have no room for complaints. God is providing my every need and abundantly, yet I still feel like I am missing something? I guess I knew leaving Romania would be hard and I would go through a time of depression and loss, I just didn't know it would be this hard.

I am not sure if anyone even reads this blog anymore, but if you do please pray that God would heal the hurts and show me how to be passionate about my life here and the kids in Romania.

Well, I have been back in the states a little over a month and it has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I am still adjusting to being back and trying to recognize my purpose and God's plan for me here. I miss the kids daily and think of them often and pray for them continually. God has blessed me with all my needs daily. I am still looking for a permanent car, but I trust God will provide. Each day feels new and not yet routine, but I am learning more and more each day of what my new life means here and I continue to seek and pray for all things to be revealed. Sometimes I wish I could just be transported to Romania just for the afternoon with my kids. I miss so much my daily hugs and snuggles and feel quite lonely without them.

Blog #16

If I could only express in words how much my life has changed and how much I have grown because of my experience in Romania. I love Romania, I love the kids and a piece of my heart will always be with them. I am home in the states, although it doesn't feel real yet. I am slowly adjusting, but my heart always carries a piece of Romania with me.

I am so blessed, grateful and thankful for all the friends and family who sacrificed, encouraged and stood by me every step of the way, I could not have done it with out you. God is good and He has been with me every step of the way and I don't doubt He will continue to be with me.

Video Blog #15

Summer Update.... getting down to the wire, will be coming home soon!!!