Two 1/2 years later and prayers are answered..... the most amazing thing happened! Most of you that know me, know that I made a special connection with a little girl in Romania when I lived there. After a year of working with her, just about daily and falling in love with her I showed up to the orphanage to find out she was gone. I cried for months. I hoped and wished every day I was in Romania she would come back. Even after I got back to the states she was constantly on my heart. I have pictures of her up in my room and in a locket I wear from time to time. Over the last several years my heart still ached for her, I would think of her, pray for her and dream about her. This last winter I had an intense dream about her that stirred me up and I could not shake the feeling for days to keep praying for her. I had resolved after so long that I would never see her again this side of heaven. She has never left my heart and I still thought of her often, but I had come to the conclusion I just would never know. I would have to trust that God was watching over her. 

Then a little over a week ago I got an e-mail from my teaching partner I worked with when I was in Romania, Lenuta she is studying in London working on her Masters. The e-mail subject was surprise and the message said, check out the picture below and tell me what you think? I scrolled down to a picture of several children. As I looked my mouth dropped open and I starred for the longest time in disbelief..... There she was, my little Ana, that little girl who capture my heart over 2 1/2 years ago. I could hardly contain myself, I frantically wrote back saying, that's my Ana, that's my Ana..... where is she? what do you know?!! I thought for sure it would be days before I heard back. The whole things seems so unbelievable. I found out the next day a friend in Romania had sent some random pictures to Lenuta about a new orphanage she was working at and Lenuta recognized Ana. Pictures went from Romania to London to me in the United States! I got a message and several pictures of Ana. Tears flooded down my face, I just kept starring at her smiling back at me. I was so comforted that she was safe and looking healthy. I found out in the winter she was found begging in the snow and the police took her to this orphanage (I believe this was about the time I had the intense dream about her). My prayers and inclinations to pray were not in vain. I found out she is doing well and she is getting help with her speech issues and she is happy and healthy and striving. I still am in awe of how good God is! What an amazing blessing to know she is safe and see her smiling. I never thought I would see that beautiful face again and by the grace of God I got to!

 

Processing Emotions

I think today is the first day I started processing any emotions, these last few days I have been so excited and just so focused on seeing the kids that I couldn't even acknowledge the craziness going on inside me. Seeing how much they have grown and how much I have missed them made my heart ache inside me. I didn't want to open up the wound that has been trying to heal these last 10 1/2 months I've been away. I have felt so torn by my passion for these kids and my calling to be back in the states. I feel like I am sitting in limbo, heart torn in two, afraid to move forward and afraid to go back. I wish I could explain it better than that.... I wish I could explain how half hearted I have felt about life recently. God planted this seed inside me and I watched it grow, felt the growing pains and enjoyed the fruits of love and relationship. And then with one swoop I felt cut from the branch laying beside the tree watching it grow without me. 


Today as I shared in conversations with the kids and reminisced about all we have shared I slowly felt that passion, that wound open up. And then like salt on that wound I discovered the stories of neglect, manipulation and emotional anguish inflicted by people in these kids lives who are suppose to care about them. Thank God though that although the realities of their lives pierced my heart there was joy in seeing the continuous chain of volunteers and staff that are here pouring out each day, loving these kids in the ways they deserved to be loved. I found comfort in my pain that even though I cannot be here daily, there are those who are, carrying on the legacy of love and sharing hope, spurring the kids on to better and brighter futures. 


I won't lie that it is hard to accept that someone else is loving on my kids, and I know that is selfish and ridiculous really to consider them mine, because they always were and always are going to be God's kids. I just struggle with what my part is now; how can I love these kids and still live my life back in the states? 

1st day back at the orphanage!

Here Goes.....

So much has been going through my mind as I am preparing for this next adventure in Romania. Joy floods my heart as I think of seeing the kids I have missed so dearly this year. It has been a difficult 11 months, with ups and downs. And in the midst of it all, the only relationship that never fails me is the one I share with God. Even in my imperfection, making mistakes constantly, His love abounds. I can't explain it in words, I can only tell you regardless of my failures, I feel it in my bones, in my soul, He is there with me.
I do not necessarily believe I am an example to anyone, I am simply trying to live a life composed of faith, hope and love; and to share it with all those I come in contact with. I often fail, but I continue to try and rise after every fall with renewed faith and passion. With the receiving of grace I press on with the ultimate goal of love always in everything.
 I pray this adventure is no different!


I am excited to celebrate at all people who helped me get this far, and I was even blessed with extra to buy supplies..... check it out

The receipt..... wow!

Goodies for Summer Camps, the staff & in-coming teams!

The Supplies : 3 bags!

My stuff : 1 bag : )

----->>>> Keep an eye out for video blogs while I am in Romania! 

Thank you so much for your time, encouragement and support! 

With Love,

Krista

5 days and I am Wow'd!

It is no question that I am meant to go to Romania this summer; God has provided abundantly and in excess! 


Tomorrow I get to begin the task of supply shopping for Romania. A large donation was made, giving me the ability to fulfill some needs of the kids, staff and teams in Romania. 


The last couple weeks have been a roller-coaster of events, stress and emotions.... but God has met me every step of the way.  I have been blessed with friends, encouragement and financial support. I am Wow'd by how abundantly and quickly God has provided. 


5 more days and it hardly feels real! I don't think it will hit me until Thursday morning when I am at the airport. 


Thanks everyone for your loving, caring, passionate support! 




----->>>> Keep an eye out for my video blogs when I am in Romania! 

In Awe!

I am beyond amazed and in Awe! I found out today I am only $329 dollars from my goal for Romania! I have been so blessed. I was so excited when I found out... I wasn't sure if I wanted to dance or cry! 


So many people have come along side me and supported me, and 3 months ago when I started fundraising I thought there was no way I could raise all this money is such a short period of time. And God surprised me as usual. In only 25 days I will see my kids and friends in Romania I love so much, and that brings tears of joy to my eyes. 


Thank you so much to all those who have supported me in so many ways. Thank you for helping me show these kids I love that I have not forgotten about them. Thank you for helping me keep a promise to see them again. For kids with so many broken promises in their lives I am so thankful I can keep my promises to them. I am so thankful I can show them they are important enough to come back.  


If I could only describe the emotional roller-coaster I have been on since my arrival home, if I could only describe the longing that has never left my heart to go back! God changed my life and my world when I went to Romania and I am excited (and a bit nervous) to see what He does this time. 


Thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for all of your support. I have felt so loved and so special that so many people care enough about me and these kids to give of themselves and their means to get me back. 


I dream about hugging the kids, talking with them and being with them in Romania! And tonight I go to sleep with the comfort I am really going, I am really going to see my kids again, and that brings me more joy than I could every describe!

https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/

Half-Way There!

I can't believe that in 43 days I will hopefully be on a plane to Romania! Soon after that wrapping my arms around the precious children who captured my heart! It looks like I am about half way to my financial goal of getting there! Praise God! What a blessing it will be to show the kids that my love for them has not been forgotten, that they are important enough for me to come back. I don't want to be another broken promise or reflection of false love in their lives. I want them to see that love crosses all borders and boundaries; it transcends all space and time, from heaven to humanity.


As this time quickly approaches I am being bombarded my financial burdens, stress and life changes, and things feel impossible. Then I am reminded about all the ways I have been richly blessed and that God has never failed me. I don't expect everyone to understand this call and passion in my life. The only way I can explain it, it's like a gravitational pull in my heart that can't be denied. 


Thank you to all of those who have so graciously given, prayed and encouraged me! I am still in some need of help and if you feel compelled or able it would be a true blessing to me. And I promise to keep you updated every step of the way.  
https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/

Awaiting in faith,
Krista

Romania Return Update

I started to feel that rush of panic and excitement today as I realized my trip to Romania is about 71 days away..... or at least I hope. I've got about $2,700 still to raise. In some ways it feels like I left Romania a couple months ago, and in other ways I feel like it has been so long since I saw my kids. I received an e-mail today from a friend who is filming there and he included some pictures, seeing the kids faces again made me long that much more to get there! I wish I could describe in words how torn my heart is.... I feel like half of it is in Romania, and half here in the states. 9 months later and my pictures and thoughts of them still brings me to tears.

This trip is more than just going to see the kids though, this is about working with them. Summer teams are needed to run the camps and summer activities. I am excited to work and pour into the kids' lives again.

Someone asked me the other day... “Why do you want to go back, and why so quickly?” My thought was, not quickly enough, I would have gone sooner had I had the funds. Granted my life is still not on track or in some kind of perfect condition.... and I already want to go back. Not only does my heart and passion for Romania call me back, it's the commitment to the kids. These beautiful children I have grown to love and call my own are kids who have spend a lifetime being rejected, abandoned and forgotten. I never want them to feel that with me. I want them to know Romania was not just a small part of my life, it was a part the is forever etched into my heart. My goal is to go back to Romania every year I can. I hope that once I finish school and begin my career I can spend my summers serving every year.

I do need some help to get there and have some exciting fund-raising events to share:

Friday May 4^th Mini Photo Session @ Old Folsom Power House - 3pm-6pm

Call: Shannon Squires, #775.722.6659 - $50 for a 30 mini photo session, includes a disk with 10 images. (check her work out on Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shannon-Squires-Photography)

Saturday May 26^th – Game Night at my place.... Poker buy-in and prizes! Details to follow.

June 2^nd – Yard Sale. Accepting donations or come a find some good deals.

June 9^th – Mini Photo Session (Location & times to follow)

$50 for a 30 mini session, includes a disk with 10 images.

June 16^th – Car Wash @ my place.

*If you are interested in any of these fund-raisers let me know! Check out my blog as well for updates and a link to donate online... remember it's a tax deductible donation. Even if you just give up two coffee's in my honor & give $10 it would be appreciated more than you know!

Contact me anytime: E-mail: writekrista@hotmail.com

Or give at: https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/

Twins on the way!

I often get news on the kids in Romania, and recently got some news that needs prayer. Some of you may remember a teenager I wrote about often, that I worked with closely. I drew close to her and she shared many things with me. She is a girl who does not see her value and has very low self-esteem. She desires so deeply to be loved that she has often found herself in unhealthy relationships with men. She also struggles with healthy eating habits. My connection with her came to a surprise, she told me I was like a mother to her and often sought nurturing and motherly embraces. My heart has ached for her a long time and my teaching partner in Romania and I tried to help her to see the value in school and healthy choices for her life, but often saw her seeking comfort in unhealthy ways.

I just found out she is pregnant with twins. I am concerned about her health and about the young man who has fathered these babies. She is no longer at the orphanage and had apparently moved in with this young man. I have no idea the situation, but my heart aches for her. I pray she will be healthy enough to carry these babies to term. I pray for the relationship she is in, that it is safe and healthy. I also pray for these sweet babies, that they would be born healthy. I pray that these new babies will not end up in the orphanage system, but rather be cared for physically & financially with love by their young parents. Please pray for this young lady and her new relationship and the new lives she is carrying.

Thank you for your prayers and for continuing to check out my blogs.

As posted before I am planning on going to Romania again this summer. Here is a link if you would like to support me! https://bridgewaychristianchurch.wufoo.com/forms/romania-2012-online-giving/ I am going to need all the help I can to get!

I plan on doing a couple video blogs again while I am there too!! :)

Keep praying for the kids!

Update & Future Plans

Update on Life & Future Plans:

Hello dear friends and family. I Hope this update finds you blessed, happy and joyful. I hope life is unexpectedly surprising you and renewing your faith daily. I personally have been feeling the crazy bends and twists in life's road. Sometimes there are unexpected places you feel called and compelled to, without even knowing why?

I can hardly believe it's been seven months and nine days since I arrived back in the states. It feels like a whirlwind. There hasn't been a day that has gone by that I have not thought about the sweet faces I've left behind. I figured I would have my life here in the states all figured out by now. At first I couldn't even think about Romania and the kids without crying. There were days that seemed so hard, so void. I never imagined the adjustment would be so difficult. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy road, but I also wasn't prepared for the severe lows. I know with all my heart I was drawn home, I just haven't figured out my new purpose yet. I wish I could explain what it was like to wake up every day and know my exact purpose, that's what it was like for me in Romania. I know I am suppose to be here, and my new purpose is yet to be discovered, but I did leave a huge piece of my heart in Romania. I've kept in touch through facebook, e-mails, letters and a couple of packages, but it still doesn't seem like quite enough.

I am currently nannying part-time and tutoring twice a week. I am tutoring romanian, which is wonderful because I am able to keep the language skills. I also attend William Jessup University. I am working on a family and child counseling degree. Schooling is intense and a lot to juggle, but I enjoy learning. I especially enjoy psychology. I am very social these days, hanging out with friends and making up for lost time. I have been truly blessed by the support and encouragement of friends and family. Although, I still have days that are filled with longing to see the little one's I fell in love with back in Romania.

I am hoping and praying with all my heart to return to Romania in July for two weeks. My church is sending a team to help with summer ministry. I plan on going with this team. It is an expensive trip, the cost is $3100. On a part-time salary and full-time school schedule this seems impossible, but then again I thought living in Romania for two years was impossible?! With God all things are possible. The thought of going to Romania again and seeing my kids makes my heart feel like bursting with unimaginable joy. If you've ever been in love; a love that see's potential, promise and hope, than you know about the kind of love I've experienced. I have yet to be a mother, but the love I feel for these kids, I can only imagine is like a mother for her children. Nine years I have been going to Romania, and although in the grand scheme of things my time there was brief, my experiences were monumental. If I am going to go, I am going to need some help. If you feel compelled or are able to help, please make a check to Bridgeway Christian Church or Heart to Heart International and put my name in the memo section of the check. I would appreciate your help and encouragement. Prayers would be wonderful as well as encouragement. This is very important to me.

Thank you for your continued support, I couldn't have gotten this far without you!

With much Love,

Krista Dickson

Jeremiah 29:11

Ball of Frustration

Have you ever just had a feeling inside you and you didn't know what to do with it? How to express it? How to heal it? That is what I feel and have been feeling for months. I kept thinking one day at a time, one day at a time, and now three months later and I still am taking it one day at a time. I disconnected from Romania for awhile.... I didn't know what else to do? Just thinking of the kids would bring me to tears. I feel like I don't know how to mesh my two worlds, how to allow my heart to feel for the kids in Romania and still live my life here in the states. I feel like there is a ball of frustration built up inside me and I don't know how to release it. It's weird being in a place I know I am suppose to be, yet feeling such a loss for where I was? Sometimes I feel like I am going through the motions, but lacking the passion or intention behind it. I haven't shared with many how much I am still struggling, but I thought being honest and allowing my emotions to be known might help.

I don't know how or why, but I feel like I am assuming the "fake it until you make it" method in my life. The truth is I am not sure what to do? I am not sure why I am still feeling so lost in my own life? It seems to me I am running on blind faith, I am walking forward without knowing where I am going? I am learning you can't replace one passion with another.

Everything in my life is going well, I have no room for complaints. God is providing my every need and abundantly, yet I still feel like I am missing something? I guess I knew leaving Romania would be hard and I would go through a time of depression and loss, I just didn't know it would be this hard.

I am not sure if anyone even reads this blog anymore, but if you do please pray that God would heal the hurts and show me how to be passionate about my life here and the kids in Romania.

Well, I have been back in the states a little over a month and it has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I am still adjusting to being back and trying to recognize my purpose and God's plan for me here. I miss the kids daily and think of them often and pray for them continually. God has blessed me with all my needs daily. I am still looking for a permanent car, but I trust God will provide. Each day feels new and not yet routine, but I am learning more and more each day of what my new life means here and I continue to seek and pray for all things to be revealed. Sometimes I wish I could just be transported to Romania just for the afternoon with my kids. I miss so much my daily hugs and snuggles and feel quite lonely without them.

Blog #16

If I could only express in words how much my life has changed and how much I have grown because of my experience in Romania. I love Romania, I love the kids and a piece of my heart will always be with them. I am home in the states, although it doesn't feel real yet. I am slowly adjusting, but my heart always carries a piece of Romania with me.

I am so blessed, grateful and thankful for all the friends and family who sacrificed, encouraged and stood by me every step of the way, I could not have done it with out you. God is good and He has been with me every step of the way and I don't doubt He will continue to be with me.

Video Blog #15

Summer Update.... getting down to the wire, will be coming home soon!!!

Blog #14

More to come....

Sorry I didn't get the video's of the zip-line up, had technical difficulties!

I promise to blog more soon with more details!

Video Blog #13

Real, honest, emotional....

Video Blog #12

Thanks for watching.... hope to hear from you soon!

Video Blog #11

I forgot to add the date... June 14th, 2011! Filmed at 7:45am and posted at midnight!

Video Blog #10

Summer fun and carnival time!!!! : )

Video Blog #9

Information about the Art Show!

And I had my two year anniversary here in Romania on May 15th! : )

Amendment: I do not actually have the week off.... I just mean there are no teams for a week. Ministry is still going and I am still teaching Art!